No Imagination, No Expectation

Readers,

It has been a while for not sharing my stories to you. I have been busy with things that I could not imagine and expect before. But they happened, passed by and left the memories in my mind.

On November 2011, ama passed away..

The image of being in the funeral home is still clear in my mind. All family from my mother's side were there to support each other.

Just 10 days ago, on April 2012, bobo passed away..

This time, I feel emptiness. This physical body is so uncertain. Really nothing. I am reminded again that life is impermanent!

Readers, it is really true that things come and go in our life. They stay for a while, make memories and when the right time ripens, they will go. However, what we need to do as the one who are left, is to let go and live our life as good as possible in their memories.

Thank you ama and bobo :). I am today because of all of you.

May all beings be well and happy always! :)
XOXO

Puas?

Di depan jendelaku ada air mengalir dari langit turun ke bumi dengan derasnya,

Di samping kananku ada segelas milo panas yang lezatnya tak terkira,

Di samping kiriku ada tumpukan buku milik orang spesial di hati.

Ahh.. aku sangat menikmati dan bersyukur ada pada suasana ini :)

Readers,

Karena masih terbawa topik tentang 'Contentment' dari hasil diskusi kemarin bersama teman-teman, saya pun ingin menuliskannya disini.

Sudahkah anda puas dengan apa yang anda miliki?

Atau masihkah anda mencari-cari dan iri akan barang milik orang lain?

Tidak dipungkiri bahwa dalam hidup ini, kita akan memiliki perasaan cemburu dan iri. Namun, yang terpenting adalah bagaimana kita menyikapi perasaan - perasaan yang timbul tersebut. Saya sendiri tidak luput dari penjajahan perasaan cemburu dan iri.

Beberapa bulan lalu saya pernah diminta seorang teman untuk membantu dia mencarikan kamar. Pencarian yang serasa tak ada habisnya membuat kita sama-sama lelah, dan jujur saja saya juga merasa kasihan dengan dia yang masih belum mendapatkan kamar. Ketika pada akhirnya, dia mendapatkan kamar dengan bantuan saya, aneh tapi nyata.. Bukan perasaan bahagia yang saya alami, tetapi justru ada perasaan iri karena dia mendapatkan kamar dengan harga lebih murah daripada saya.

Disini saya sadar bahwa saya sedang dijajah perasaan iri, jadi saya tidak mau tinggal diam. Segera ketika saya melaju pulang dengan kendaraan umum, saya memborbardir pikiran saya dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan. "Mengapa aku bisa merasa iri? Mengapa aku tidak berbahagia karena temanku mendapatkan kamar? Seharusnyakah aku benar-benar merasa iri dan bersikap sesuai dengan perasaan itu?"

Saya bersyukur bahwa saya adalah orang yang selalu berpikir dan refleksi diri jika saya merasa saya sedang dijajah pikiran-pikiran negatif. Dan ketika pertanyaan "mengapa" di atas muncul, diriku pun menjawabnya dengan lantang.

"Tentu dong aku iri, kan dia mendapatkan kamar jauh lebih murah daripada aku, padahal harga kamarku sendiri mahal. Wah kebahagiaanku telah terselubung dengan perasaan iri yang kadarnya sangat tinggi. STOP!!! Aku punya pemilik rumah yang begitu baik, ada teman dekat dan aunty baik hati yang tinggal hanya beberapa blok dari rumahku, masih haruskah aku merasa iri lagi?..."

Readers, aku percaya akan pentingnya waktu bagi diri kita untuk refleksi dan merasa puas dengan apa yang telah kita miliki. Membandingkan diri dengan orang lain tentunya hanya akan membuat diri kita memiliki tekanan.  Coba rasakan dan nikmati apa yang kita miliki saat ini. Ingat readers, waktu tidak pernah terulang kembali. Dan setiap tahap dalam kehidupan memiliki suka dan deritanya masing-masing.

Gratitude - Feel it inside your heart

Hello readers ;),

I have not update this blog quite sometimes hoho! Being busy with works and other things, plus lazy to write haha!

Anyway, I would like to extend my gratitude to friends: Helmi, Edy, Andy, Vicky, Hung Kwo and Charlie for their contribution to help me to do Indonesian Service - a Buddhist gathering for Indonesians in Singapore. They played the drama very well. Well done friends! :) :) :).

In my opinion, the event with theme "Filial Piety" yesterday was meaningful and I was happy seeing others enjoyed the session. While being the host of the session, I also learned a lot of things.

• During the session, I could change my "panic mode", because things worked not as what I had planned before, to "relax and laugh mode". For this, I learned that panic does not help, it only makes you stress and worry about the future.
• Adult friends are still human beings. I was worry that due to age difference, I would bring my childishness into the session. However, I felt that happiness can be shared. I was happy bringing the session, and I felt it too from the participants.
• Be confidence on yourself! Nothing to worry about the past nor future. Just being in the present moment, enjoy our presence, is one of my powerful experience being a host of the session.

Besides that, yesterday night when I reached home, I read the paper which had been written by participants about their wishes or gratitude to their own parents. I was touched with what they had expressed on those papers. Honestly, I put expectation that I would see words about love and thank you. However, when I read those papers one by one, I realized that every one has their own unique experience with parents. They even taught me an old lesson ...

"When time still allows us to meet with our beloved people, show love to them, forgive them for whatever they had done wrong to us."

A lot of times, regret comes only after we are unable to meet the person anymore. Since we are able to change, why don't we change it? Forgive them because it is actually our ego who does not want to forgive their mistakes. Love them because deep down in your heart, you are a being who can love others purely.

Thank you everyone! :)

Pass Away?

I just read a clear explanation about "kamma" from Dhamma Musings

In the past, I thought, I need to put kamma as a reason behind every events that happened to me, to every beings. However, through the post created by Bhante Dhammika above, I understand the true meaning of kamma! Not everything depends on kamma, there are other reasons behind.

Now after knowing this, I am going to fix the way I used to think before :)

Ohh yaa and just to be shared with you..

Yesterday during briefing time, my friend said to me that after I leave the place, I am considered pass away. My other friends who heard his statement were angry at him and asked him not to speak something bad! Honestly, after I heard his statement, I had no anger at all, because I am surely going to die one day, so I have no point to argue with him. But a minute later, when I saw my friends scolded him, I began to ask myself, "Am I sure that I am okay with the word PASS AWAY?"

Although I did not scold the person, but the query to myself stuck in my mind for quite sometime. I think he shouted out the word PASS AWAY, because he wants me to stay in the place. For several times, he had asked me to stay in the place, but I cannot help him, I need to move on.

I thought to be able to meet this kind of friend is due to kamma. However after I have a clear understanding about kamma, I can say that kamma is not purely the reason behind it. It was my effort to go there and eventually meet that friend. The kamma, I believe, happens when I started to think, talk, and act towards the person. Kamma is in my hand, and I can determine whether I want to have bad or good kamma :)

To close this post, I would like to write the story that was sent by my beautiful friend last night:

A chief is talking to his tribe about two dogs inside his mind: one is a white dog that is good and courageous, the one is a black dog that is vengeful and angry. Both dogs are fighting to death.

A young brave man unable to wait for the end of the story asks, "Which one will win?"

The chief responds, "The one I feed"

May all beings be well and happy always :)

Bola Api Kemarahan

Bagi saya kemarahan itu seperti bola api yang membara di dalam tubuh ini. Pantas saja ya, Buddha berkata, kemarahan hanyalah membuat dirimu sendiri menderita! Bagai memegang batu bara panas yang akan kita lemparkan pada suatu object, tetapi sebelum kamu melemparnya, kamu hanya akan melukai tanganmu sendiri.

Kemarin baru saja saya merasakan bola api ini lagi, kali ini saya benar-benar melihat nya. Jujur, ketika bola itu pertama kali muncul saya tidak mengetahui nya, object saya lebih tertumpu pada orang yang membuat saya marah. Tapi setelah bola itu terasa semakin membesar, barulah saya sadar.. Lho ini saya marah ya? Dan seketika itu pula bola itu berhenti mengembang, seperti terdiam karena malu terpergok.

Dari hasil buka-buka blog orang, saya baru tahu kalau marah itu sebenarnya adalah salah satu respond "fight or flight" kita sebagai manusia, jadi memang tidak ada yang salah jika kemarahan itu muncul. Namun, kita harus ingat, apa yang penting adalah tindakan kita setelah amarah itu muncul. Apakah kita akan meneruskan amarah ini? Atau melepaskannya dan memaafkan object yang membuat kita marah?

Pagi ini saya menemukan satu artikel tentang "kemarahan" oleh Thich Nhat Hanh. Bagus!

Ada beberapa kalimat yang saya suka dari artikel ini:

Pada saat kamu menjadi marah, kamu cenderung percaya bahwa kesengsaraanmu telah disebabkan oleh orang lain.

Kamu menyalahkan dia atas semua penderitaanmu. Banyak orang lain, yang dihadapkan pada situasi yang sama, tidak akan menjadi marah seperti dirimu. Mereka mendengar kata-2 yang sama, mereka melihat situasi yang sama, namun mereka mampu tetap tenang dan tidak terbawa. Kenapa kamu menjadi marah dengan begitu mudah?

Ketika kita mulai mengembangkan energi perhatian penuh kesadaran, pengertian pertama yang akan kita dapatkan adalah bahwa penyebab utama dari penderitaan kita, kesengsaraan kita, bukanlah orang lain - ia adalah benih kemarahan dalam diri kita sendiri.

Pada saat itu kita akan berhenti menuding orang lain sebagai penyebab semua penderitaan. Kita sadar bahwa dia hanyalah suatu penyebab sekunder. Kamu mendapat banyak kelegaan ketika kamu memiliki pengertian ini, dan kamu mulai merasa lebih baik.

Buddha tidak pernah menasehati kita untuk menekan kemarahan kita, beliau mengajarkan kita untuk kembali ke diri sendiri dan merawatnya dengan baik.

Seperti organ-2 kita, kemarahan kita juga merupakan bagian dari diri kita. Ketika kita marah, kita harus kembali pada diri kita sendiri dan merawat kemarahan kita dengan baik. Kita tidak bisa berkata :" Pergilah kemarahan, kamu harus pergi. Aku tidak menginginkanmu"

Latihan perhatian penuh kesadaran menghasilkan konsentrasi dan pengertian.

Pengertian adalah hasil dari latihan yang bisa membantu kita untuk memaafkan, untuk mencintai.

Nahh teman, tantangan sekarang ada pada diri anda masing-masing. Lihat dan buktikan! :)

-Semoga semua makhluk berbahagia dan damai selalu :)

A meaningful beginning of 2011

Readers,

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 :) :) :)

May all of us grow into a better and wiser people!

May all beings be well and happy always!

I am grateful to have a meaningful celebration of welcoming the year of 2011. Although there were some confusions about which way I should go to celebrate the New Year, finally, I decided to follow my heart :).

It started with an overnight chanting in Wat Ananda Youth temple, from 11 p.m. to 7 a.m. Before I went to the temple, I was doubting myself and asking it, "Can I stay awake for the chanting?"

But to my surprise, I could do it :). And this is my very first time of not having enough sleep (or maybe not sleeping for the whole night), yet feeling great! Usually if I don't have enough sleep, I will become a zombie, can't think and do things properly. But not this time. Chanting is one of meditation.. and I think, it proves that healthy mind creates a healthy body.

Coincidentally, I met with my dear friend's sister in the temple. Well, she sat besides me for the first chanting.. however, I got to know who she is after the overnight chanting was over haha! And still in coincident matter, I met my friend who was joining the chanting as well :). Now I know why do people say that the world is such a small world.

The chanting, in fact, makes a meaningful opening of year 2011 for me :) :)

On the afternoon of this very first day of 2011, I had my Cookie Monster in Earle Swensen's, Changi Airport Terminal 3 with Sis. Teresa Hsu, Bro. Sharana, and bunches of lovely friends :). I got lessons again from Sis. Teresa :).. She will be 114 years old this year, but her heart is still full of happiness and spirit to help others who are helpless.

Food for the heart:

We are still young and have the ability to do good for others. Don't wait and feel that you are not rich enough or good enough to help others. After all it's not the matter of how big the amount of money you give, but it's more to the purity of your heart, the willingness to do it for the sake of helping those who are in need :)

Plus be kind to yourself, think positively and stand still, when the wave of life moves toward you.. This is indeed the secret of Sis. Teresa's happiness and long life :)

Ohhh and I was touching when she kept the word "Aku cinta kamu/ kalian" inside her heart. She keeps the tissue which I used to write those words. She said she will never forget those Indonesian words that were taught by us. It is a great gift for me! The value of kindness and gratitude are indeed far far away more than that of money :)

Thank you Sis. Teresa and Bro. Sharana!
Thank you friends!
Thank you all beings for without all of you, I would not have a chance to experience all of this :)

May all beings be well and happy always!

With Love,

Christmas Day 2010 :)

Readers,

I had a great and warm Christmas this year :). Starting with a special moment I had in Sis. Teresa's home followed by Tzu Chi - Year End Blessings in Kreta Ayer Theatre, and then today's Dhamma Talk in temple plus a little time that I spent with the speaker. All of those activities are meaningful and precious for me. I wish my resolutions for year of 2011 is going to make me to be a better and wiser person :)

To begin with, I and some friends spent our Christmas Day by visiting Sis. Teresa Hsu at her home. It was a warm moment :)

Despite of her age that is reaching 114 years old next year, she is still a great woman! Intelligent! Lots of love and compassion! I still remember her words, "I know the feeling of being hungry. Therefore I don't want to see others in hungry. I begged money so that others who were hungry could eat."

Those words made me to reflect of things that I have done to others, and in fact inspiring me to be a better person than I was before. Those words have made her to stand out for people who are helpless. Her compassion and effort do not stop although she is on the age of more than 100 years old! What a great woman she is! :)

Sis. Teresa Hsu :)

COMPASSION - THERE IS NO 'YOU' NOR 'I'. THERE IS ONLY 'WE'

On the evening, with different friends we went to the Year End Blessing. I was touched by Tzu Chi's actions, throughout year 2010, to help helpless people as well as the world. They do their best without differentiating race, religion, age, etc. They do all of good deeds for making this world as pure as the Pureland, teaching people to do good deeds - avoid evils - and purify our mind/ intention. They inspire me to help others  and universe abundantly and thankful with whatever things I have. (P.S. I am going to join the recycling point every 2nd Sunday of each month, does anyone want to join me as well? You're welcome to do so ;p)

A handmade New Year's card from Tzu Chi :)

Can someone help me to read this? hohoho!! Thank you! ;)

Master Cheng Yen gave the cards to members and they glued the dried paddy on the card :)

For me, it was a coincident that the Dhamma talk this morning was about making resolutions for the new year which is about to come. Making a resolution, not only as per se looking at the physically aims, but also spiritually/ emotional aims. By looking at all impermanence of things (disaster, nature of body - old age, sick, and death, feeling, thinking), we should remind ourselves not to cling to an object. Letting go is the keyword. 

So, readers, have you ready with you resolutions?

World Buddhist Conference (25 - 26 Sept 2010) - 1

A friend's request has inspired me to share what I get from World Buddhist Conference 2010.

Living in Harmony when Things Fall Apart

Yeah, "Living harmony when things fall apart" was the theme for the World Buddhist Conference 2010. Ven. Thich Nhath Hanh was the keynote speaker during the conference. However, due to his health condition, he only appeared on first day of the conference. Yet few hours of his appearance had made a great opening and gave food for thought for me and maybe the other audience as well.

He taught us about orange tree in which our speech, action, and thought are the condition that can determine the orange fruit. If there is enough sunlight, water, fertilizer.. the orange tree will grow well and have a lot of great oranges. The same goes for us, our karma fruit depends on our speech, action, and thought. If you do more goodness, mindful with your speech, action, and thought .. the nice karma fruit will be enjoyed. However, if you do more evil things with your speech, action, and thought.. the bad/ not nice karma fruit will be the result of it.

One of his story that I love and keep in my heart is about our hands "left and right hand". Have you ever thought why we have left and right hand? They are there, indeed, for helping each other. Imagine when you have nail and hammer, both hands are working together to help you to hold the nail and hammer at the same time. Then ask yourself, why do we can't be like our hands? Helping each other instead of jealous and quarrel with others. Amazing isn't it? We can learn something from our body! It's a great insight for me hehe ;)

Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh also told us that a Sangha life is possible everywhere, when you plant and grow the seed of brotherhood and sisterhood inside the community. For this, my opinion is try it! :). Since we can't change others, why don't we change ourselves first by planting and growing the seed of brother- and sisterhood to our family members, friends, neighbours, and colleagues?

Nothing

Readers,

I have just read a good novel "The Kite Runner" by Khaled Hosseini (Thanks to Venny for giving me this novel! ). But I have not read it until the last chapter..

The very first 5 chapters have described the 'game' of discrimination happened (happens?) in Afghanistan. I stopped my reading because I was so curious with what they call as Hazara people, so I opened my notebook and google it.

To my surprise! They are handsome and beautiful people!! Why then, they were (are?) seen lower than others??

In fact, discrimination is always a hot issue in this world. In my home country, I had experienced the feeling of being discriminated and somehow, I was taught to discriminate those who were discriminated me (Hahahaha!! Double discrimination, isn't it?). 

I think, all of these discrimination things can happen because people within one ethnic see themselves superior as compared to people from different ethnic. People see themselves as superior beings mainly because they are in the first rank in term of population number in an area. Secondly, they think that they are in high caste (smarter, more beautiful, etc) than others. Discrimination occurs not only within human beings.. Have you ever thought that some human beings also differentiate their rank with animals? Thus, those people abuse animals as if those animals are useless beings.

Based on my observation (correct me if I am wrong), discrimination takes its very place due to self-centered mind. We believe that there is 'I' within ourselves, and because of the I, we kill others to be the winner. Isn't it a sad thing to sacrifice others just to make this body stands up? Remember that this body is only a mixture of soil, water, heat, and gasses. It is nothing, really nothing.

This universe, in fact, is interdependent. We are interdependent, not a separate special beings who need to be said as higher than others. 

Hey, friends..

Why do not we:

working together instead of creating war?

playing together instead of teasing each other?

praising the good of others instead of jealous and hating them?

sharing things with others instead of keeping them just for this rotten body?

Interdependent, indeed, is the nature of everything.

See the "I", watch the "I", and let go of the "I"

May you be well and happy always :)

Nafsu kah ini?

Readers,

Hari ini saya melihat bahwa saya memiliki pikiran yang dikuasai nafsu. Karena menemukan suatu berlian, saya merasa saya tidak butuh untuk membagi nya dengan orang lain. 

Dalam pikiran saya ada tertulis, "Ini berlian saya yang menemukan, kenapa mereka-mereka tidak mau berusaha mencari berlian seperti saya? Tapi selalu saja bergantung pada saya untuk menemukan satu dan nanti nya mereka akan mengorek di lubang sama yang saya gali, untuk menemukan berlian lainnya."

Kenapa ya readers ada muncul pemikiran seperti itu? Apakah itu hal yang biasa bagi manusia lainnya? Bukankah kalau kita berbagi, itu adalah suatu hal yang membahagiakan? 

Namun, saya sadar, dalam hal ini bukannya saya tidak ingin berbagi, tetapi saya ingin mereka juga berusaha sebelum langsung meminta mentahan pada saya. Hmm pengalaman ini juga pernah saya alami sewaktu saya di university .. 

To be an Indonesian..

Hi Readers!! :)

When you started to find me writing a lot in blog, it is a sign that I have MORE free time heeee!! ^^

I am writing this post with a cup of hot milo beside my left hand. Aaaahhh.. What a wonderful moment I have right now! :)

Basically, this moment I have no idea what I should pour on this blank page. Inside my head, there is a confusion about a thing, whether I should take the opportunity and then go to the other part of the world or just say thank you and ignore it. Also, despite of my phobia to return and stay in Indonesia due to some traumatic events few years ago, I am happy for Indonesia, my home country.. I found a blog written by 'bule' who is working and staying in Jakarta, Indonesia. He is happy to be there. He said safety in Jakarta is almost the same as in Singapore. He admires the friendliness of people over there. He even gives some beautiful facts and advices for foreigners who are going to work in Indonesia. It is a WOW!! for me. It tickled me to write and ask to that 'bule' as I am a foreigner to my home country, but I won't do it hehe! ;p

Honestly, before I found that blog and read those nice comments of Indonesia from foreigners, I never thought that Indonesia is a good place to stay (Don't trust me if you haven't visit Indonesia!). Well, perhaps it is because of my phobia that the same things will happen again in the future haha! 

After all, I need to say to myself that I am happy to be an Indonesian :) :) :). It is not important to think about how the country and people treat you, because we might find bad treatment in other countries as well. It is more about contentment, to be happy to be who you are right now. I can't change the past, and erase my bad memories straight away, but there is always a way for me to change my view and attitudes towards my native people and country.

And here you go.. as my hot milo had just finished, this post would be ended here.

Coffee & Tea

Hello readers :)

It is not a picture taken by me wekekeke!

I am in The Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, Toa Payoh right now :), enjoying my ice blended green tea plus applying job while waiting for appointment at 7 p.m.

Now it sounds like I am a young executive whose life are full of appointments! xDD

Anyway, Readers, I would like to share with you about my BIG self-centered mind. I am not angry with it, I accept it as it is because I am still a usual human being with many positivity and negativity inside. Hopefully by this experience I can eradicate my envy, jealousy, wrong view and learn from it :)

Yesterday I found out that my friends whom I trusted and thought that they would share everything with me.. are indeed not. They had done their own ways and (if my memory is correct) never told me about it. It is like I have lost my sense of trust to them after I know that fact.

The biggest regret I have in my mind is to my parents. They always told me not to be too open to those friends, yet I did not believe them and even gave them a long lecture about being honest to friends haha! (and because of this, my parents were sad; their eldest daughter thought that herself were cleverer than their parents who have gone through many life experiences??). Right now, I know that everything cannot be shared to those friends because they don't share with ME as well, they don't care about ME, they bla bla ME bla bla, bla bla bla ME bla bla...

Readers, can you see the self-centered mind?

Hahaha! Yes, it is always about I, ME, and MY!! Although some guilt are still in the heart, yet I am grateful to take the lesson (FYI, guilt is bad to be cultivated, it is a self-centered mind too; thinking of only I am wrong! I do the mistake! I am bad!). Nevertheless, I am trying to watch the guilt, see it, and let it go... :) :) :)

And for reminder to myself, I would like to post it out:

"After all, this is NOT a competition about who will be the winner or loser! This is just a path of life about how to do your best and effort in order to achieve something successfully."

Okay Readers, time moves fast.. It is time to go.. See yaaa

A man with his friends

Ternyata menunggu itu bukanlah pekerjaan yang mudah untuk dilakukan.. Karena menunggu dan tidak mengerjakan sesuatu yang berarti, 2 malam yang lalu pikiran saya mulai terbang.. berpikiran yang tidak-tidak dan membayangkan masa depan yang belom tentu akan terjadi.

Well, akibatnya ketika bangun di pagi hari saya menjadi benar-benar DOWN!! Bingung dengan semua hal ini, dan merasa insecure. Fortunate enough, I have a lot of friends who support me. Mungkin di saat itu mereka tidak mengetahui kalau saya sedang DOWN, tapi apa yang mereka berikan kepada saya merupakan suatu hadiah yang sangat berarti. Hal yang mereka lakukan mampu mengubah mood saya 1000 degree dan menjadikan saya bersemangat kembali untuk tetap berjuang.

Nah, readers.. ini adalah pembuktian bahwa saya sebagai manusia, makhluk sosial, membutuhkan orang lain untuk dapat mengepakkan sayap lagi. Jadi hargailah dan cintailah orang-orang yang berada di sekitar anda, hapuskanlah rasa benci kepada mereka. Sungguhlah sayang jika hidup ini kita habiskan untuk membenci seseorang karena setitik kesalahan mereka. Belajar memaafkan dan dirimu akan hidup lebih berbahagia :) :)

May you be well and happy always!!! :)

Jangan tunggu untuk berbuat baek

Hello readers!! c:

Jangan bertanya kenapa saya jadi rajin nge-blog akhir-akhir ini hahaha!! Yakk seperti yang kalian semua ketahui, saya sedang mempunyai banyak sekali waktu luang, jadi saya pikir ada baiknya juga untuk dihabiskan menuliskan pengalaman saya yang mungkin bisa menginspirasikan teman-teman hehe!!

Pengalaman hari ini yang saya dapatkan adalah ketika saya naik MRT menuju Ang Mo Kio.

Karena kebosanan melanda, pukul 1.00 p.m saya langsung ketik di Google "Ang Mo Kio Shopping Centre". Nahh seperti yang diharapkan, keluarlah alamat web yang dituju beserta dengan bagaimana cara menuju ke sana. Di tengah perjalanan menuju Sembawang MRT, tiba-tiba saya teringat "OMB!! Saya belom kirim email ke Monash Admin yang menyatakan bahwa Jimmy hari ini akan mengambil academic transcript saya!!!" Secepat kilat saya pun sms Jimmy yang ternyata juga sedang berada di tempat pengambilan. Saya kembali lagi ke kamar dan mengirimkan email..

Satu rasa syukur di hati karena saya memiliki BEST FRIENDS! Bukan hanya Jimmy yang telah menolong saya, tetapi Hartanto juga bahkan sampai harus menelepon internasional ke no hp saya disini. Dan sungguh tidak beruntung pulsa di hp habis jadi kemaren Hartanto tidak bisa menelepon saya.. Terima kasih Jimmy dan Hartanto!! Oyaa Edi juga, karena telah memberi informasi =D

Okay, jadi setelah semua urusan beres.. saya kembali melanjutkan perjalanan menuju Ang Mo Kio Shopping Centre. Ketika sedang menunggu MRT datang, saya melihat seorang apek yang tangannya sakit (diikat kain yang tersambung ke leher atau apapun istilah kedokterannya haha). Disitu pun dalam hati, saya berkata "wah kasian ya apek ini.. Nanti di dalam MRT harus hati-hati. Kalau tersenggol mungkin lukanya ga sembuh-sembuh tuh".

Singkat cerita.. MRT datang ~ dan betapa kagetnya saya.. PENUH!!! Padahal ini kan bukan jam orang pulang kerja (masih jam 1.30 p.m.). Jadi kita semua masuk berjejalan ke dalam MRT. Berhenti di 1 station ahead, beberapa orang turun dan naek. Ada kursi yang bertuliskan RESERVED SEAT kosong, ehh malahan anak muda yang duduk disana, bukannya memberikan pada orang tua laennya yang sedang berdiri. Disini nih hati saya sudah galau, USIR ato GA, USIR ato GA?? Sampe berkali-kali pertanyaan seperti itu muncul di pikiran. Akhirnya di 1 station berikutnya, karena benar-benar merasa kasian dengan apek yang tangannya sakit itu, saya memberanikan diri ngomong ke anak muda yang duduk di RESERVED SEAT.

"Excuse me.. Do you mind to give your seat to this uncle?"

Trus kupanggil apek itu, dan akhirnya dia mendapatkan tempat duduk =D. Apek berkata "Xiexie".

Ada satu rasa bangga dan bahagia ketika bisa berbuat baik untuk orang lain. Tapi teman-teman, yang perlu dipetik hikmahnya disini itu bukanlah karena kita menolong orang lalu kita merasa bangga dan hebat. Bagi diri saya sendiri, pelajaran yang bisa diambil adalah JANGAN MENUNGGU UNTUK BERBUAT BAIK.
Dan saya bahagia karena saya dapat melakukan hal kecil ini, karena saya percaya jika saya tidak melakukannya.. pikiran bersalah akan menghantui saya.

Cheers,
Carol

Berikan SENYUM mu :)

Hello, readers!! c:

Hari ini saya ingin menceritakan pengalaman yang saya dapatkan kemarin :). Ini adalah pengalaman yang menghangatkan jiwa karena ternyata orang yang tidak kita kenal sekalipun dapat berbuat baik kepada kita...

Kemarin siang tiba-tiba saya mendapatkan phone call untuk pergi interview di daerah yang saya sama sekali tidak kenal. Pukul 3 p.m. saya berangkat dari rumah, dan perjalanan hampir 1 jam saya tempuh untuk mencapai MRT station terdekat (menurut prediksi dari internet). Pukul 4.30 p.m. adalah waktu yang telah ditetapkan untuk interview, jadi saya hanya memiliki sekitar 20 menit untuk bisa tiba di perusahaan tepat waktu. Benar-benar mencekam hati!! Setelah tiba di MRT station, saya mencari bus yang menurut prediksi dari internet (lagi!!) bisa mengantar saya sampai tempat tujuan. Jangan tanya bagaimana saya harus berputar kiri dan kanan untuk menemukan bus stop yang cocok. Putar kiri ternyata bus yang saya butuhkan tidak berhenti disana, putar kanan ternyata route bus yang saya butuhkan sudah bukan ke tempat yang dituju..

Di tengah kegalauan hati, hanya satu yang bisa saya pikirkan.. Segera ambil taxi! Tapi saya benar-benar tidak tahu dimana taxi stop hahaha!! Sampai akhirnya saya putuskan untuk menyeberang jalan dan sungguh beruntung saya karena akhirnya bisa menemukan taxi stop. Kali ini waktu sudah menunjukkan pukul 4.15 p.m. (waktu menurut jam tangan saya, yang kata teman-teman sebenarnya kelebihan 5 menit haha) dan tidak ada taxi sama sekali di taxi stop!!! Setelah beberapa menit menunggu, ada 1 taxi yang tulisan atasnya HIRED tapi ketika dipanggil menghampiri saya.. Saya cepat-cepat bertanya apakah uncle tahu alamat yang dimaksudkan, dan dia mengangguk. Wahh, langsung saya lompat ke dalam taxi dengan hati tidak tenang karena waktu hampir mencapai 4.30 p.m.

Di dalam taxi, si uncle mengajak berbicara dengan bahasa Mandarin.. Yahh seperti yang kalian tahu, Mandarin saya tidak sebegitu hebat jadi saya jawab tanpa peduli grammar Mandarin hancur hahaha! Dan si uncle pikir saya orang Malaysia.. Selama berbicara dengan uncle, attention saya agak sedikit teralih dari dag dig dug hampir telat haha!! Sesampainya di depan perusahaan, uncle masih berkata GOOD LUCK dengan senyumnya yang lebar :) :) :)

Nahh di sinilah saya merasakan bahwa kata-kata semangat dan SENYUM sangatlah bermanfaat walaupun itu datang dari seorang asing. Saya dengan percaya diri pun bisa memasuki ruang interview :), walaopun entah bagaimana hasil interview itu (tiba di ruang interview pukul 4.28 p.m.)... Jika berhasil sungguhlah berbahagia, jika tidak berhasil itu adalah suatu pengalaman berharga :)

Teman-teman, satu pelajaran yang bisa diambil disini adalah BERIKAN SENYUM mu walaupun mereka bukanlah orang yang kita kenal, karena kita tidak mengetahui apa dampak sebuah SENYUM pada hati mereka :)

Semoga bermanfaat!! May all beings be well and happy always :)

Bertindak Bijaksana

Hello semuanya!! Maaf lama tak meng-update blog hehe!!

Anyway, sekarang saya di Singapore dalam pencarian kerja haha!! Banyak hal yang sudah terjadi, dan satu hal yang ingin diceritakan disini adalah pengalaman saya mencari kerja :)

Bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah memang untuk mencari kerja, apalagi buat kita-kita yang baru saja lulus dari university. Kita menuntut diri kita untuk cepat mendapatkan kerja, menuntut diri kita untuk tidak kalah saing dengan orang lain yang sama-sama baru lulus dalam mendapatkan kerja, dan masih banyak tuntutan lainnya. Namun tahukah kita bahwa sebenarnya tuntutan-tuntutan itu diri kita sendirilah yang membuat dan akhirnya meledakkan emosi kita?
Saya sendiri pun tak bisa memungkiri kalau dalam beberapa minggu yang lalu, saya adalah manusia yang penuh dengan tekanan, bingung, dan hanya berpikir untuk *DAPATKAN KERJAAN SESEGERA MUNGKIN*!! hahaha. Sampai saya melakukan hal-hal yang mungkin tidak bisa diterima secara logis haha.


Bisa dibilang saya cukup beruntung karena saya kembali ditemukan pada ajaran Buddha yang menyadarkan saya akan semua ini. Terimakasih kepada teman-teman yang sudah berkontribusi banyak dalam penyadaran ini haha!! Kepada Mr. Ng yang hanya pernah ketemu dengan saya sekali, tapi benar-benar mengajarkan banyak wisdom kepada saya lewat email-emailnya. Tak lupa juga buat Rifin dan Ko Ju yang menyadarkan saya dari nasehat-nasehatnya. Juga Lia dan Jimmy karena sudah menemani saya jalan-jalan dan meng-explore Singapore selama beberapa hari ini.

Saya kembali sadar bahwa disinilah apa yang dikatakan Sang Buddha adalah benar "The Middle Way", "This moment is the reality". Karena selama ini saya stress menekan diri untuk cepat dapat kerjaan padahal tak banyak yang bisa saya lakukan selain mengirim resume rajin-rajin dan menanti telepon untuk interview. Selama ini pula saya berpikiran ke depan, bagaimana kalau sampai tidak diterima kerja di Singapore padahal sudah habisin uang ortu tinggal di Singapore gini? Nahh, sebenarnya semua itu hanyalah ilusi dari pikiran. Apakah memang benar ortu merasa tidak bahagia karena saya berada di Singapore? Itu suatu hal yang tidak benar karena jika diingat ortu sangat mendukung ketika saya tiba-tiba kembali bersemangat buat mencari kerja di luar Indonesia setelah tidak mendapatkan visa di Malaysia. Mereka bisa dikatakan langsung  menyiapkan apa yang bisa mereka persiapkan agar saya bisa hidup dan mencari kerja di Singapore. Satu hal yang ingin ditegaskan disini adalah ortu hanya berharap kebahagiaan kepada anak-anaknya, dan kita sebagai anak jangan malahan membuat diri kita sendiri tidak bahagia karena pikiran-pikiran jelek kita.

Bertindak bijaksana adalah suatu hal yang perlu dilakukan dalam masa-masa seperti ini. Janganlah menjadi stress karena dikelabuhi oleh pikiran sendiri. Tenangkan pikiran dan mulai melihat segala sesuatu sesuai kenyataan. Dalam waktu penantian ini, kenapa tidak kita menikmati apa yang ada? Mungkin nanti setelah kerja, kita ga bakal bisa jalan santai-santai dan tertawa hahaha hihihi dengan teman dan keluarga.


Cheers,
Carol
P.S. Thanks buat Nicky, anjing owner, yang selalu menemani dan kuajak ngomong hahaha!! Btw, anjing bole dikasih makan roti ga sih? Setiap kali saya beli roti healthy oatmeal, dia minta terus.. jadi kukasih 1/4 hahaha!

'TaraBuddY

I shall tell you the story of a heroine from 'TaraBuddY...

Once upon a time, there were 6 warriors from Indonesia who bravely opened up the opportunity for Indonesian Buddhist Youth in Malaysia to learn more about the teaching of the Buddha as well as to find their true friends. The tremendous support from Subang Jaya Buddhist Association - Youth Section is one of the factor contributed in the idea of building 'TaraBuddY.

In fact, the name of 'TaraBuddY was invented by V. H. - a very creative girl from SJBA-YS. The name is combination of Nusantara, Buddies, and Youth.

This is the story of one of the warrior named Cles3 who had never dreamed to have such opportunity. Before she involved in 'TaraBuddY, she was a shy (maybe a bit nerd), perfectionist, egoistic, and low self-confidence girl. One thing that has been good in her is her heart. She always look and give her best for those people who, in her opinion, need helps. But all of her helps were done without any wisdom, so sometimes after she did good things she would feel regret of doing it.

On one fine day, she was informed and invited to be one of the warrior to build 'TaraBuddY. She was not too sure at first, but due to her interest in trying something new, she finally accepted it. The first journey was tough, very tough! Meetings were the dessert for almost every night, only to discuss about what they should gave to friends who would come to the session. And this thing happened for one semester, before the number of other brave warriors were added in. 

Throughout the journey of 'TaraBuddY, Cles3 had found disappointment, sadness, happiness, wonderful people, great experiences, and many precious gems. In fact, 'TaraBuddY has made her being who she is here and now. A president of Monash Buddhist Society, contributor for a motivational blog, good time-manager for her own time, person who thinks optimistically, sister to younger brothers and sisters, friend, lover (to family and in the progress to cockroach), brave, kind girl with a little more wisdom on her side. She even has better relationships with her parents and family. She increases her lessons of life from what she has learned in 'TaraBuddY.

Now that she is in the end of her time in 'TaraBuddY, she wants to thank all of those wonderful people who had worked together with her both in happy and storm time. She was deeply touched with what she had been given in the last session of 'TaraBuddY for this semester. She said it was a little shocking session, simple, yet bringing deep meaning to her heart. Old and new friends are by her side, and even some people asked her not to forget about them in the future.

I guess Cles3 had a real GREAT time in 'TaraBuddY. She learns a lot about the teaching of the Buddha and applies them in her life. She even finds those people who are true friends "Kalayana mitras" for her. 'TaraBuddY has made her life to be colorful as it appears today.

Lesson from laptop

These two days I had problem with my laptop, especially the adaptor part.

I found it difficult to live without my laptop, because I need it to do my assignment and keep myself update with latest informations. Not to give up, yesterday I went to Pyramid to get a new adaptor or maybe if it was possible repairing the old one.

At the end of the day, I got a new adaptor, and I was so happy.. I used my laptop for the whole night!

However, this morning when I would like to continue my assignment...

my laptop did not want to work.. And the problem was with the adaptor again! I was speechless and down. Afraid of can't finish my work, afraid of disappoint my friends, afraid of this and that. 

Honestly, I never felt that kind of fear before..

So, this night I forced myself to go to Pyramid again and changed the broken adaptor.

Although I am SUPER tired now, I am glad that I experienced this, because it teaches me that we need to love and take care whatever or whoever we have now, because we never know when the time they will go. Forgive for any mistakes that they have made, and start to live meaningfully in every moment.

Remember that everything in this world is impermanence.

May myself be well and happy always!

May all beings be well and happy always!

With Metta,

OooohhThat is It!

Today I started my day with a big confusion, choosing to go to temple or orphanage home...

Going to orphanage home is my usual schedule for Friday evening. I have started to go and give tuition to children there since the end of last semester. I love them!! (but u know, at the first time, i asked myself, can I be a good teacher? can I love them since they are not those who I expected to be? haha!! They were silly questions at the beginning of doing Dana!)
I have one special student which most of the time when I go to the home, I will teach him. His name is Samuel. He is clever!! He likes to study English rather than Math haha!! And that's why every time I ask him to open his Math book, he will refuse to do so. Last week, finally, I taught him Math! Though it was a hard thing for him, but I successfully convinced him that he can do it well!! (For this convincing part, I need to think a creative and fun way haha!!)

And today... I was planning to teach him Math! but...

There is meditation class every Friday for 6 consecutive days-which I had missed 2 classes-due to my Genting trip and orphanage home. I have registered myself for this course before I set my schedule on Friday evening to go to the home.

Perhaps for all of you, it's like a stupid thing to be confused of! However, I was! I thought if I go to the temple and meditate, I will be so selfish. I will ignore my students (especially Samuel). And if I go to the home, I will miss the class.. For your info, I have stopped my meditation practice (sitting and walking meditation) since holiday and I want to start it all over again.

A big confusion hit me! I asked every one which way should I choose? I really couldn't find the answer for it! Bro. Cedric (MOD singer, who is my Kalayana Mitta-friend in the Dhamma) said "it's all up to you! If you want to improve yourself then you should go to temple, but if you want to socialize then go to the home!" Honestly, those words had a big impact on me, ratio of 30% home and 70% temple was in my head that moment. Then Ming Han, who is my good friend and Kalayana Mitta, persuaded me to go to temple for my own good sake haha!! He gave me a lot of advices! After few hours, finally I decided to go to temple for today and I sent message to Bro. Peng Yong (another tute in the home who always fetch me-a very kind person!) and Dr. Song Beng Kah to inform them that I won't go to the home today.. It was a hard decision for me!

Dr. Song Beng Kah, my lecture as well as the tute in the home, replied my message. His message conquered all of my doubtness and confusion! He is, indeed, a wise person! He said do whatever is best for u, don't let the Dana prevent u to do something that u need to do! ~It is a WOW message for me! I never have such a thought about it..

In the temple, another two WOWs happened! It's like what Dr Kah Yein wrote in her book. "Dhamma works in mysterious ways!" One wow is there was a question to Bhante whether meditation is a selfishness or not? I was quite shock hearing that question (it was my question which I didn't dare to ask it.. so SADHU to that person who had asked Bhante! =))..
Bhante said meditation isn't selfishness. In meditation you train your mind, and due of this training mind you will behave well to others-in short being mindful in everything and it is a good thing to do.
The second wow is I can note my feeling! (I am proud of it hehe! ;p) I noticed that I was angry when there was one aunty adviced me to do walking meditation properly. I disliked that aunty because I thought my way was correct, why did she want me to do this and that??? During that time, the feeling inside me was like something raised up to the max and they were ready to blow out-I don't like it! A terrible feeling!! Hahaha!! Luckily, I realized that it was just Mr. Angry came to visit me, so I didn't need to respond to him! Moreover, lately, I found out what the aunty said is a trully better way to do walking meditation =)! Sadhu to you, aunty! =)

For me, today is really a usual day with enormous experiences of life! =)