Happy New Year 2010!!

Hiyaaa.. One and half more days we will be in year 2010, a new year with a new spirit to everyone :)

After reading one note in my facebook, I think it's a great idea to make new year's resolutions. It does not matter whether the resolutions can be achieved successfully or not, it is just the matter of willingness to do them and take the lessons on the way to achieve them.

These are my NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS:

Working hard to get D average for my third year subjects next semester

Graduating from Monash on June 2010 with Bachelor of Science on my hand

Being able to work in Singapore or Malaysia or Australia or New Zealand after my graduation

Finding the right people for continuing the work of 'TaraBuddY and Monash Buddhist Society

Being able to control myself to talk about people ~ Sometimes silence is golden ~

Being able to see my mind as it is, so that I will not be influenced by them :)

Keeping up my diet, eating moderately, taking less meat

I guess, for now, that's all my resolutions for the new year. And lastly but not least,

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!! May You Be Well and Happy Always :) :) :)

Walking

People will only come and go in this life! 

The above statement is hard to be accepted, yet it is a fact of life. This had happened to me for several times.

I lost my best friend from elementary school after each of us entered junior high school (SMP). In SMP, I found other best friend. She was in the same class with me for three years. We felt the up and down of being a student in SMP Bintang Laut together. Again, after the graduation, I lost her. She continued her senior high school (SMA) in Solo, and I continued mine in Jogja. We still contacted each other, and I spared my time with her when I went home. However, as the time passed, I started to have my life and so did she. In SMA I found other best friends. Now, the number was not only one and they were not from the same class as mine. We were best friends because we simply stayed in the same dormitory and I guess the bonding between us  made us to be best friends.

After SMA's graduation, I continued my study in KL, Malaysia. At first, I met with a lot of new faces and I was really shy to communicate with them. My English was not so good that time and I was so new for them. Again, during my study in KL, I had lost contact with my best friends from SMA. I found another best friends of mine here in KL. This time, the number is not only one, two, or three, they were not only Indonesians!, and they were boys and girls! (I never had boy best friends before, hee!!!) The pity thing is that I am still in KL to finish my university (one more semester), but I had lost some of them. One of them went to Singapore to continue her study and we seldom contact each other. One of them suddenly went from my life because of some problems *hope that I can end our relationship well*. One of them went to Australia to continue his study, but I still keep in touch with him though not too often...

Finally, one by one people passed into my life. They brought joy, sad, and mixture moments to my life. I learned a lot from them despite the fact that one day we would be separated. Not only best friends who had been walked into my life, but family and colleagues (from Tony Roma's and Sunway Lagoon) too had been walked through.

It is one of my happiness to be able to find them. I never regret to meet and know you, guys :) :) :)

The Story of a Dog

This story is worthwhile to be read. It reflects us as human beings who always forget and ignore unused things/ people/ pets.

May I not forgotten the useful and unused things/ people/ pets in my life.

May I pay my highest gratitude to them.

May they be well and happy always.

Enjoy the story ...

“How Could You?”
Copyright Jim Willis 2001

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was “bad,” you’d shake your finger at me and ask “How could you?” – but then you’d relent, and roll me over for a bellyrub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because “ice cream is bad for dogs,” you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a “dog person” – still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a “prisoner of love.”

As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch – because your touch was now so infrequent – and I would have defended them with my life if need be.

I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered “yes” and changed the subject. I had gone from being “your dog” to “just a dog,” and you resented every expenditure on my behalf.

Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You’ve made the right decision for your “family,” but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said “I know you will find a good home for her.” They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with “papers.” You had to pry your son’s fingers loose from my collar as he screamed “No, Daddy! Please don’t let them take my dog!” And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a goodbye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too.

After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked “How could you?”

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you – that you had changed your mind – that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.

She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured “How could you?”

Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said “I’m so sorry.” She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn’t be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself – a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my “How could you?” was not directed at her. It was you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of. I will think of you and wait for you forever.

May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

The End

The H day

This is the day which every students in Monash University had looked for. I call it as H day. H day is so special because the result of subjects for semester 2, 2009 is launched unofficially.

I am glad that I can survive and it means that I will continue my final semester next year. However, the happiness did not last long. It faded as soon as I knew my friends and brother's results. I am sorry for them.

Nevertheless, I believe that they should not be down only because of this matter!! It is only one of life challenges in which you gain lessons in it. First and foremost, you had done your best throughout the semester... so Don't feel regret and ashame of what you have got :)

Anyways, there are two sentences that are inspired me today:

• Life without sad or happy moments is the same as life without color (Hartanto, 2009).

• Things that do not make you die will only make you stronger (Harrison, 2009).

December starter

It is a first day of December, the year 2009 will be end in 30 days ahead!! Fast, isn't it?

Throughout this year, I had a lot of great, good, bad, embarrassing, and many other experiences. I shed my tears for four times. I had been so active in Buddhism activities, and thanks to Ming Han who had introduced me to the Buddha's teachings. I met with bunches of new friends. Penang trip with some of my family (though not the real family, yet they are for me -Vina, Farid, Leo!!!, Edi, Fani, Amek (not joining Penang trip), Fimtan (not joining Penang trip), Jimmy, Chandra (not joining Penang trip), Har2, Nat2, Monica, and Annita). And many mores which words are not able to describe them well.....

Anyways, I had been touched by a video. I found this video from Devi's blog. While listening to the song, I told myself...

Separated by Usher

Separation. I know how the feeling of being separated with the beloved ones. It is hurt deep inside. However, I haven't learn to let go the feeling. I still attach to it and I am jailed by the past moment. Honestly, it makes me difficult to build a new momentum again. I guess the pain went too deep.