After some times not updating this blog, finally at this moment, I have the feeling to update this blog.
Many things had happened these days. I choose my holiday in Indonesia to be the starter. In hometown, I had experienced many spectacular things. Starting from being introduced to a guy which I found that he is a nice and kind guy. The next thing was that I went together with his mum to record our bad voice in a radio station. Honestly, his mum is my type because she did unusual things that perhaps woman on her age will not do those things. Besides that, I found that I was changing. I was not that girl who were shy and lazy to do small things on face, hair, and body. I am taking a good care of them now. Maybe the reasons of this changing is because I believe that taking care of our own physical needs can make us happy too. And when we are happy, we influence others to be happy =).
At the end of February, I returned to my life in Malaysia. It was quite different this time, because I only have 3 subjects left and this semester is my last semester in university. I can feel the pressure in my nerves that I MUST pass this semester well. I want to graduate and help my parents as soon as possible.
However, things occurred differently from what my expectations were. I was chosen to be the president of a club in university and at the same time I was the leader of a project under an organization. I am honored to have those positions. I am honored to believe that my friends trust me in such a way to lead them in the club and project. But on the way, I really found a lot of stones. I put pressure on myself by holding the thoughts of others, which in fact, can make me to be a better person but I didn't want to believe it. I followed my ego, and started to be angry with others.
Luckily, I have great teams from both the project and club. They do their jobs well and even care of my mental condition which at that time was very bad.
The pressure on myself was still there this morning. I still hardly forgave and accepted what others said to me in order to make me to be better. But, do you know why I can change again to be "that" girl tonight?
Yeah, it's because of the Dhamma talk by Sis. Kah Yein this morning - 6 worthy ways to be happy. It impressed me in a unique way. I thought a lot during the talk. I compared my problems with every explanation that was given. Tadaaaaaaaaa........ at the end, I was return to be that girl who always think something in a positive ways. I started to feel shy to some people who previously I hate dislike because I didn't like their way to talk to us my team. I asked for their forgiveness and sent them Metta =) (After all, it is a nice thing to do compared to being angry with them).
Okay, that is my story for today. I and the club will have a meritorious action on the upcoming week, fund raising week =). I hope that every thing will run smoothly, and if it's not, we can handle it properly. Lastly, I would like to repeat the Buddha's words,
"Do not harm others, do not harm yourself."
and Late Chief Ven.'s words, "Be of service for others"
Sukhi Hotu
Metta,
CL
