Sunday, September 20, 2009

Starting over =)

Wohooo.. this morning I started my day with a WONDERFUL resolutions!!

Today I wish myself to be well and happy
Today I wish myself to be free from bad thoughts
Today I wish my friends to be well and happy
Today I wish I can improve the progress of my report

I am happy with myself who had done a good job this morning! (It's not selfishness.. I just want to appreciate "me" hehe!!)

This morning the Dhamma Talk in SJBA temple was about five precepts. To be honest, I didn't quite understand what Bhante said about the Jataka story.. and at that time, I think, my mind was running away from my body. It was thinking of A, B, C .... until I realized that I should listen to Bhante's words instead of swimming in the bubbles of thoughts!

Yeaps, at the end of the talk, I could only grab small things from Bhante's words haha!! They are about TRUST!! and I know I need to trust someone in order to be free from dream! =)

However, what I am proud of is myself who was watching the feeling state at almost every moment. When Bhante was talking, some friends were talking and playing.. (in fact I got annoyed by them and I asked myself, why these people can't appreciate Bhante who is talking in front of them?)

Angry? honestly, yes.. but I am happy I could notice it haha!! because after the notification, the feeling of angry was going down and suddenly it disappeared when I checked my feeling again. So... thanks people =)

And then.. when Bhante asked us in the middle of the story, I tried my best to answer him haha!! Though I didn't know the answer was correct or not. And when Bhante asked, is there any question? I also asked him about "thought as a factor in breaking the precept".. (After Bhante answered me, indeed, I still don't understand haha!!) Anyways, actually it was just my appreciation to Bhante. I thought when u are answering someone's question, it shows that you are listening to them so ya.. I tried my best =).

Afraid and shy? Absolutely yes, because I could notice that after I answered and spoke, my body was shivering wakakaka!! (was it due to coldness of air cond?) haha!!

Oyaa.. and I just realized that I have so many opportunities and I have found so many kind people who support me in my LIFE's learning processes =). Therefore, I don't want to disappoint them and being not happy only because of thoughts and small rocks in my life.

I want to be happy in order to make others happy =))

2 comments:

  1. LoL aunty aunty...there are certain reasons why ppl do certain things haha..focus on ur part to listen can liao...coz when u get angry at how ppl r not listening, do u realize u r not listening when ur angry also? hahaha..

    don't worry..i also got distracted when listening to the talk, but i tried to keep pulling my attention bk..i really enjoyed the part about how we shouldn break our promises..haha n i think there was a part inside about not talking so much nonsense..LoL..its quite a good talk..though i hv to admit i kinda lost concentration on the last few moments of the talk

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  2. haha ya om, i realized it. Do you still remember the part when jim called me using your handphone? i was on the hill of mountain that time haha!! but then luckily, i could directly notice that i am angry (it's like something inside ur body is arising. I don't like the feeling ishhh hahaha!!)

    and it's EHIPASSIKO!! because i could prove that awareness can cause angry to disappear. Feeling is, indeed, like a wave!! It is impermanent =))

    And i am happy for the lesson ^^

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