Hmmphhh I am wondering why I could choose shining in the heart as my blog name. It is weird! because I myself don't have any light in my heart. It is full of dark now.. I can't see things clearly.
This morning I had a trip with my friends to a beautiful hill (don't know what is the name of the hill). The place is FANTASTIC!! I love to be there because I can see lots of greens.. However, those happiness couldn't last long, it came and then went. When it went, I asked myself, "why am I here? spending my morning with my friends here, is it good or bad? are they care for me? am I in bad mood rite now?"
So many things were inside my head when the happiness disappeared. I managed to dump those thoughts and joined my friends craziness of taking picture.... yeaps, the thoughts went for a while, but it returned! and again I felt desperate. I started to walk alone and felt the air, it was so nice!! Nice before the questions in my head came out, "is it okay if I walk alone like this? will my friends be worry because I walk alone? How if they leave me here alone?"
In the middle of the thoughts, I was shocked by Shinta's voice. She called me and in fact, I was happy that time!! I felt that she realized my disappearance.
My.. my... I had generated so much thoughts this morning hahaha!!
Nevertheless, I really love the time when I could feed and see turtles, pigeons, catfishes ate the bread I gave to them. It was so nice to be them, I thought. They are FREE from such thoughts!!
but.. remember remember!! Living things always want to be someone else who they thought are EXCELLENT, in fact, the someone else atually has its own problems!!
and I am as a human wants to be a little turtle or pigeon? haha!! ;)
And now while I am writing here, my mind is still wandering. It is still searching for the answer of being left with friends and the beloved ones. I know the fact that every things are not permanent, they are changing!! but how come the questions can't be turned down?? it is still hanging there although I know exactly the fact behind it.
Perhaps I should repair myself first before I join my friends in the next trip that they have planned.. I know, I will blame myself because I miss the chance to be with my friends. But if I join the trip, it will only cause me to think this and that.. I think, I should prepare some times to be alone with myself first.. =)
This morning I had a trip with my friends to a beautiful hill (don't know what is the name of the hill). The place is FANTASTIC!! I love to be there because I can see lots of greens.. However, those happiness couldn't last long, it came and then went. When it went, I asked myself, "why am I here? spending my morning with my friends here, is it good or bad? are they care for me? am I in bad mood rite now?"
So many things were inside my head when the happiness disappeared. I managed to dump those thoughts and joined my friends craziness of taking picture.... yeaps, the thoughts went for a while, but it returned! and again I felt desperate. I started to walk alone and felt the air, it was so nice!! Nice before the questions in my head came out, "is it okay if I walk alone like this? will my friends be worry because I walk alone? How if they leave me here alone?"
In the middle of the thoughts, I was shocked by Shinta's voice. She called me and in fact, I was happy that time!! I felt that she realized my disappearance.
My.. my... I had generated so much thoughts this morning hahaha!!
Nevertheless, I really love the time when I could feed and see turtles, pigeons, catfishes ate the bread I gave to them. It was so nice to be them, I thought. They are FREE from such thoughts!!
but.. remember remember!! Living things always want to be someone else who they thought are EXCELLENT, in fact, the someone else atually has its own problems!!
and I am as a human wants to be a little turtle or pigeon? haha!! ;)
And now while I am writing here, my mind is still wandering. It is still searching for the answer of being left with friends and the beloved ones. I know the fact that every things are not permanent, they are changing!! but how come the questions can't be turned down?? it is still hanging there although I know exactly the fact behind it.
Perhaps I should repair myself first before I join my friends in the next trip that they have planned.. I know, I will blame myself because I miss the chance to be with my friends. But if I join the trip, it will only cause me to think this and that.. I think, I should prepare some times to be alone with myself first.. =)
hahaha i hv known u so long aunty..dont think i will b running away anytime soon
ReplyDeletewow wow...so many thoughts just for 3 hours trip...haha
ReplyDeleteeven me that was walking at the back of u guys didnt have anything but enjoying the trip....
why do u want to think so many things that even you don't know the answer???
for me, i did thought some of those... but i aldy throw that away long time ago as what I should do is just enjoying what we have now... it is just like what kungfu panda infamous master turtle words which is
"Yesterday is a history, tomorrow is
mystery, but today is a gift. That is
why it is called the present" “ the gift.”
And another one from that movie oso
"Your mind is like water, my friend, when it is agitated, it becomes difficult to see, but if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear. "
well the 2nd one is kinda not that connected...wakkakaka
in nutshell, dun let too many things pollute your mind and hinder yourself from enjoying your precious time.....;)
H42
Thanks om, har, jim, edi =))..
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate what you have done to me in order to wake me up from this bad dream! =)
However, I know that myself is the only one who can solve the problems inside me.
Just knock me hardly when you feel something is not right with me! =)
LoL..jim? edi?? they didn't comment here also hahaha..
ReplyDeleteehhh har2!!! ur wise!!! oh great master! plz accept me as ur student!!! ooohmmm~~~ LoL
actually aunty..sometimes we maybe juz sleepy n tired thts y we think so much...so hav a good rest n it will re-energize u!
wakakaka...wat la u...i just quote from one of my fav movie...hahaha
ReplyDeleteasking why using Shining in the Heart?
ReplyDeletehave u saw again ur old posts?
i know it's not that much
but... weren't ur posts earlier were happier than now?
i believe u chose the name of Shining in the Heart because u want readers to have a good time reading ur posts and may be learn something new?
so, remove the delusion of the mind, so that u can shines people hearts again..
sounds good? hahaha
ahhh edi ~~ u remind me =))
ReplyDeleteyeaps, i can do it!! Be happy is a choice, and I want to choose it to fill up my life =)
Thanks!