Attachment was a scary word for me last time. But now, I don't know how it works, I start to understand the meaning of attachment, especially to the loved ones. Honestly, I am doing my experiment about this matter ;p. Thanks to the subject of the experiment who, at the end, has brought me up from the life's hole and taught me so many life lessons.
Ajahn Sumedho from the book "How to develop happiness in daily living" teaches that being unattached does not mean that you need to neglect your dear ones. It does not mean that you need to get rid of your loved ones.
Being unattached to your loved ones means that you can accept them as they are, and not expecting/ grasping things from them.
I love Ajahn Sumedho's saying about attachment. He said if you attach to someone/ thing, what you love will only causes pain to you.
In my experiment (This proves that I am a science student ;p), I sent a lot of messages to the subject subsequently. The message I sent did not have question mark, so it was the subject's choice whether to reply it or not. Sometimes when the subject did not reply my message, I had the thought, "why this person don't reply my message? Is he busy? Or am I disturbing him?"
And then I realized that those things are attachment. I am in my pain because of waiting for his reply. This proves Ajahn Sumedho's words.
But... when you want to be unattached by neglecting your dear ones, it is also another side of attachment. It is attachment to the idea of not being attached (Complicated, yeah? haha).
And the subject of this experiment told me that when you ignore your loved ones, actually, you do not appreciate what they had done for you.
So my friends,
Appreciate your loved ones and accept them as they are. See things clearly and do not ask for more than what they can do for you :)
I Love You, my subject of experiment haha!! Thank You :) :) :)
hahaha just wondering actually...can you assume that somebody has to reply your message to show you that they like you??
ReplyDeletebcoz for my students, sometimes i send them msg, they dont reply, but when i talk to them in person, i can feel that they really enjoy being w me..
n although they dont reply my msg, doesnt mean tht my msg didn make a difference to them...bcoz when i receiv some nice msgs from my friends sometimes, maybe i didn reply, which is kinda rude i agree..but i dont do it always n i hv my reasons..n when they do something which can b considerd rude sometimes, i also m more tolerant w them bcoz they r tolerant of me too??
when we learn meditation, we learn tht our mind is non stop thinking, what u put urself to do, will affect this train of thought, when we tell someone something out of goodwill, maybe they dont listen now, but next time in the future, they might suddenly find it useful? thts y when we do metta, i heard a monk said before, that we do not actually radiate metta, we r just "programming" our mind to think loving kindness thoughts, therefore, if we do it often enough, our mind will also bcome more filled w metta??..haha..not too sure..just some opinion haha..
It depends on your intention. When you send the message and hope that the fellow will reply you, it is attachment. Your waiting time is your pain. But when you send the message to make them happy (without any expectation), it is caring.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if the message is urgent, and the fellow still has not reply you yet. It is better to call him/ her haha.
Yep, I agree with the monk's words :). When we do metta recitation, in fact, we fill our heart with loving kindness. So in our daily life we will always remember to love every beings without exception.